i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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