Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
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