ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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