Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize