I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
