every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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