so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
