Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
