Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
