I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
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Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
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Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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