It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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