Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
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