Just fell off a train. Bad.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
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