Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
