I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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