dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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