She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
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