so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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