I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize