who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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