we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
