i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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