Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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