I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
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