the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
