After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Randomize
