i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
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So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
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well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
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