I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
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no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
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Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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