I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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