He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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