is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
