My brain says no but my pants say off.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
