just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Another day, another engagement, another cat
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
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