we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
