fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize
