I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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