She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
