I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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