So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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