somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
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