you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize