I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
