Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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