if you like me you must not know who I am
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
