I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
