Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
