you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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