I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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