If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Randomize