Is it normal to miss your booty call?
did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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