Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
