Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
did i just pee glitter
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
