i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
