Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
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So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
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Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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