quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
