i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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