I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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