ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
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My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
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