i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
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