i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
