the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
