3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Randomize
