TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Just invented taco cereal.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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