My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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