Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
